Making a new home on the web
Just thinking out loud..
I’m happy to be slowing down on the old blogging and being on the internet-thing in recent months (years). Not that I have stopped, but just, taken a step back. And not really deliberately. Just, I needed to and it happened.
Because. It’s nice. To just be me. Not be someone else.
That’s what the internet offers, doesn’t it? A chance to be someone else.
And even though I (almost) pride myself in being as authentic and real as I can be. I also realise and acknowledge that sometimes I’m not. Or, I suffer the longing to be me. Something like that. It gets rough and messy in my head sometimes.
But. It’s totally fine. It is nice to put on a new costume and play for a while. But the older I get, the more exhausting that seems to be.
Because I just want to be me. Like obsessively, I want that.
And I am cultivating that as best I can. I don’t know what that’s supposed to look like. Or how it’s supposed to be received. I almost don’t care that much.
I just want to create, and share, and be myself around others.
Like. My thoughts and experiences are just that. Mine. I don’t need to argue for them, discuss them, or defend them in any way. I’m happy to be my own personal mess of a melting pot.
I don’t need to be complete and fully formed in my sharing. My art doesn’t need to be good. I don’t need to curate a persona before I speak.
I just want to be me.
My loved ones would probably say. Aeryn, this is you being you. This exactly. Right here, right now. This existential angst is part of it. Keep going. We love you..
This has been a blog post.
Welcome to aeryn.me, my personal blog. Again. Starting again. Every day, again.
Aeryn