I am finding I have to really dig into spiritual practice more than ever now, otherwise I feel like I’m losing it. I had a weird thing with it last year. I got really fearful and abandoned spirituality and teachings for quite a few months because I realised one of the teachers I was following is an abuser1. Whistleblowers came forward about him and he was featured in the media2 for being accused of all sorts. And I know one of the whistleblowers so I couldn’t deny the truth of it. He was foundational for me really going back quite a few years, so it was a really difficult thing to deal with. And then I got scared about spirituality in general. But it has helped me to hone my discernment and really find what is right for me and what kind of teachings work, and what doesn’t work. But it’s been really hard.
So now I am just working on trying to stay awake and conscious of myself day by day. It’s a real challenge. But when I’m there it seems easy. You know? I just want to feel awake all the time with the feeling of being connected, and the clarity of mind, and the lightness of heart. Even while experiencing all the chaos of life and feelings and emotions, not denying them any more.
In my opinion↩︎
Excerpt from a message to a friend↩︎
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