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Posted to Facebook:

I am going to deactivate my facebook for a while. I don’t know when I will be back xx

I will deactivate in a few days. I will be gone for a long while I expect. Maybe 🤷‍♀️

I don’t know how I feel about social media any more but I feel like it’s stifling my creativity. I might deactivate or step away from other platforms too.

You may know I have been having a very challenging time this year and especially in the last few weeks. Lot’s of trauma is coming up from inside. I’ve experienced quite a lot of trauma in my life and right now just about every little thing — and big thing — is being revisited. I’m unable to take part in the usual social stuff. So I have been super-focused on learning to love AND look after myself, as my health seems to be deteriorating.

It’s scary and raw. But I’m ok. Sometimes I completely lose faith. But it returns and I can keep going.

I am feeling those creative urges to write, draw, photograph, cook, clean etc. But when I step into that I begin shutting down completely. Nothing gets done. That’s ok, but I want to create. Writing is coming easiest at the moment.

I am trying to create a safe space for myself to take part in the world in a way that I find comfortable. But the bottom line is I am very uncomfortable and freaking out in most social situations these days. Including online spaces. I’ve become so sensitive I can’t just grin and bear it like I used to. When I do it feels like I’m selling my soul. I have to bow out and do my own thing, even when I don’t know what that means. Even if that means isolation.

So I don’t know what I’m doing. I just need to stop doing things that are making me uncomfortable — for any reason, and deal with the self-judgement — and take a long break.

If anyone wants to find me, or contact me, please see my BIO LINK at the top of my profile. Because I may be active elsewhere. I may be writing, or sharing my art, but it wont be here on Facebook. I feel sad about that because I know some lovely people here but I need to go now.

See you around.

Love, Aeryn xx

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